Journey of Faith

Lizards, Spider Water, and Ministry

Posted on July 11, 2012 by Josh

I am writing this in case I ever get too big of a head doing ministry and need to be reminded what real ministry really looks like. I also want to give you an idea of what it looks like to work in a church so you don’t think it is all meditation and Bible reading.

So, this week I am the only staff member in the church office as the others are out-of-town on a mission trip. While my idea was to simply sit around and watch over the church with my crown and scepter, I have instead had the privilege of two outside the box tasks.

Task One
Last week my task was to remove a rather large lizard from the prayer room. This task was not too difficult and really pretty much looked like me playing lizard hockey with my broom until I knocked him outside. He did put up quite a fight, but I took care of it without much difficulty.

Task Two
This week’s task was a little more involved. We have a baptism planned for this Sunday. As we made plans to get the baptistery filled, we discovered that it was not emptied after the last baptism, which was about six weeks ago. So the setting is this–cloudy, still water. It gets better though because in the water there was obviously a spider clan’s baptism gone wrong with about twenty dead spiders spread out in the water. The problem is that no one has been able to get the plug out to let the nasty water out. So who does this task now fall to? The guy who was left in charge.

Attempt 1: I tried to use a long pole to poke plug out.
Result: Utter failure.

Attempt 2: I tried to tie a trash bag around my arm so my skin did not touch disgusting water. I then hung over the side, but I could not reach deep enough.
Result: Wet bag, kind of wet arm, and failure.

Attempt 3: Now I decide that it is time to use the baptism waders. Put waders on and walked in to see if I could get a better angle to pull plug using trash bag arm.
Result: No luck, still too deep. Can’t risk going any deeper or water will fill my waders which only go up to my chest. Failure.

Attempt 4: I realize that I need to lower water level. Using a trash can, I take about 10 loads of water out and pour them down the toilet which is about thirty feet away. I then realize that the water level is still too high so I am going to have to go completely shirtless because I have to put my whole shoulder in the water to reach the plug (almost took a picture of this, but did not want to lose total credibility with my church). I wade back into the water with my waders and reach my torso into the spider water. With my hand in the water I realize that I will have to go deep enough to let a little water into my waders. I don’t care at this point, and I become a little worried that the spiders are actually water spiders who are just sleeping. I take the plunge and finally get the plug out. As I am leaving the water, I realize that the waders I used have some holes in them so when I take them off, I have a number of awkward wet spots on my jeans.
Result: Wet arm and shoulder, soaked pants, and an emptying baptismal. Triumph!!

The moral of the story is either “we must do whatever it takes to get people baptized” or “being a minister means sometimes doing the dirty work.”

Categories: Doing Ministry | Tags: funny | Leave a comment

How To Work With Parents

Posted on July 10, 2012 by Josh

I have made a number of mistakes in student ministry, but working with parents is one thing that I have done pretty well (I think). I rarely have any of those meetings with parents where you just try to keep your head down while criticisms zing past you. Here are a few things that I have done in order to maintain good relationships with the parents of our students.

1. From the beginning I let our parents know that things would be done professionally. I try to communicate with them in a professional way, keep my commitments, and always have a plan. When we take a trip with the students, I map out where we will eat lunch and where we might stop for bathroom breaks. My goal is for parents to know that we always have a plan and that we are responsible. I want parents to trust that I will do what is best for their student, and I will do it as professionally as possible.

2. I am clear on why we do things. Because we have a strategy and values that shape what we do, we have a specific direction that the program is built around and we communicate that. Sometimes a parent will suggest a program or event that really doesn’t fit with our values or our culture. When this happens, it gives me an opportunity to talk about why we do what we do and how what works in the big picture. By keeping the main things in front of us (discipleship and spiritual growth), I am able to not only cast vision, but also reassure the parents that we are working towards something.

3. I encourage them to be a part of the student ministry, and I acknowledge that they actually are the most important part of their students’ discipleship. When I invite students to events or programs, I try to be sure that parents know that they are invited to come as well. They don’t even have to come as chaperones or helpers, they can just come and experience what their student is experiencing. I have had a number of parents who attended events with us who confessed that they were wary about what we did only to later realize, after attending the event, that things were far different from what they had imagined. Some of my best volunteers have come from this, by the way.

4. I welcome comments and criticism. This is not natural for me. I don’t like to be corrected or critiqued. But, for the good of the program and the students, I know that I need to hear other people’s opinions so that we take the best route possible. I make it a point to be available and open to any comments a parent would like to make about the program. Not only does this keep discussions from growing in the background between different sets of parents, it also allows me to understand the heart of the request. Most of the time there is a real reason behind the complaint or comment. If people are upset about the lack of a college class, it is because they are worried about their college student. If people don’t think a program is working, it could be because their kid had a bad experience that I need to know about and then try to correct the environment.

Working with parents is a huge part of being a student minister. Things go infinitely smoother when you and the parents of your students can work together to participate in the discipleship of their students. If things have not always gone well, consider apologizing for your part in any of it, and then you might consider some of the things above. Good luck.

Categories: Doing Ministry | Tags: ministry, parents, vision | Leave a comment

Can We Please Stop Pretending?

Posted on July 5, 2012 by Josh

So here is a dream scenario:

I stand in front of a large group of people and say, “At the count of 3, let’s everyone just stop pretending!” I count it down and then all of sudden people start saying things like, “I am not a perfect parent” and “It took an hour and a half to look like this” and “I don’t like myself very much and that is why I am such a jerk.” Suddenly everyone is able to just drop the act, be real, and start the healing process.

It’s hard to be real, though. We want to be the creators of our own image. You might say that each of us wants to be a brand. We want people to see us a certain way so that they will think certain things about us so that we can… And that is where it gets hazy. What exactly is the point of making people think certain things about us? Eventually we are all found out, right? It’s like we are living one of those romantic comedies where the guy is living a lie and the audience knows that eventually the girl will find out, then get really mad, and then they will make up if it is a blockbuster or they will go separate ways if it is an indie film.

One of the revelations that our students had at camp last week is that everyone seems to be going through something difficult. Knowing this made it easier for them to love other people and to share their own struggles. As they shared their struggles, they found allies going through the same thing and people who have been there before and found a way out. Had they not had this revelation, they would have been forced to continue to manage their brand and pretend like they have it all together.

As a minister I am privy to the private lives and struggles of many of our members. I know people who have lost their jobs, have troubles with their kids, and have problems with a host of vices. I also have to watch many of these people try to deal with all of these things on their own because they don’t want to tarnish their image. In most cases the truth comes out eventually, but not until a significant amount of damage has been done to their faith and their families.

So, let’s stop pretending. Find a safe place to be yourself–your real self, not your brand. We will all be better for it.

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Growth Doesn’t Just Happen

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Josh

A couple of years ago I was trying to cast vision with some of our students regarding growth and bringing in new people. I thought that I had made a pretty convincing case until one of the students told me that he did not want new people because he liked things the way that they were and new people might mess it up. While I appreciated his honesty, I also recognized that we needed to do more than just talk about growth, we needed to make it a value.

Our ministry has several values such as spiritual growth, service, and leadership, but we never really made numerical growth a priority. I guess I assumed that if we had a good program, we would inevitably grow. Once we had an effective program, we still did not see significant growth. Now it makes sense. Even with a good program, people needed to hear about it and be invited to come.

I have learned that if numerical growth is not a goal and a value, then it is not likely to happen. We recently set a goal to have 100 students involved in our student ministry by the end of the year. We currently have about 60 active students so we have some work to do. But here’s the thing–since setting this goal a couple of weeks ago, we have already seen six new students join our group.

It’s not enough to just set a goal for growth; you also need to have a plan on how to get there. Here are a few things that we are doing to accomplish this growth:

We are capturing information from all of our visitors and then following up with them.
We are encouraging students to bring friends and share their experiences of church with people in their circles. We are also setting the expectation that the students will greet and accept the new students when they get there. We have explained to our students that they are disciple makers and they have a job to do.
We are making it a whole church effort. With the whole church involved, it means empowering more people to help steer teenagers to our group. By sharing our big goal, we are letting more people into the adventure and the challenge of reaching teenagers for Christ.
We are working towards making our programs more outreach friendly. If our programs are not visitor friendly, we aren’t going to see people stick even if we can get them in the church.

These are just a few things that we are doing in order to get students in our doors and begin to disciple them. What are some of the things that you have done that brought people into your church or ministry?

Categories: Doing Ministry | 1 Comment

Unwritten Rules of the Donut Shop

Posted on June 19, 2012 by Josh

For about two years one of the most intimidating places in my town was the donut shop. I love donuts, particularly the bakery kind and not the mass-produced stuff from certain chains. My kids love donuts, and one of our best father-children activities is a Saturday morning trip to the donut store. Even though we love them, going to the donut store has often been uncomfortable.

You see, at our donut store there are a number of unwritten rules. For example, you are not supposed to even move towards the counter until you know your exact order and can spit it out fast. Breaking this rule gets a number of sighs and frowns from the workers. There is also the rule that you can only pay cash unless your order is about $10. In fact, for a while they wouldn’t even sell you a few donuts if you only had a card. That gets awkward, by the way. There are other unwritten rules such as what to with your baskets when done and which tables you can sit at if you are under 60 years old. It can actually be a pretty intimidating place for the newcomer.

I’m sure it did not start out that way, but over time I would guess that the business got set in its ways and was not nearly as concerned about the new customers as they were when they first opened. Now that they have a solid customer base, they don’t try very hard to be accommodating. It’s not that they don’t want new customers; they just don’t think that they need to focus on them.

You can probably see how easily our churches can be like this donut shop. Maybe a church starts out fired up and driven to find new people. As more people come, that energy towards outreach shifts into energy towards maintenance. When this happens, we forget how hard it can be for someone to just jump right in and get plugged in when the culture is already established. One of the last things that Jesus would want for his church is for it to be unwelcoming.

What do you think people see when they get to your church? Do they know where to go or when to go there? Do they know how to get into a class or group and then do the regulars act like they are excited about their being there? Are there any unwritten rules at your church that would intimidate the newcomer?

In my opinion, the best solution to this problem is to have people who will serve as interpreters of the experience. It would have been great if a regular or an employee would have said, “Hey, you must be new here. Let me show you the ropes, and never, ever get to the counter without a clear decision on what to order or they you will get sighed at.” Imagine the church version of that. Imagine what it would look like if you and the other church members felt a clear responsibility to show new folks the ropes and teach them the unwritten rules.

Categories: Doing Ministry, Faith | Leave a comment

Youth Ministry on a (Tight) Budget

Posted on June 12, 2012 by Josh

One of the harsh realities of ministry is that, in most cases, a budget does not mean much. You might have budgeted $10,000 for the student ministry this year, but unless that money comes in, you don’t have it to spend. Oh, and in today’s economy, that money is not coming in. Having come to terms with this realization, I’d like to offer up some of what I have learned about doing ministry with very limited funds.

1. Don’t lament what others have spent. In our suburban town of 50,000 people we have two of the biggest student ministries in the country. Not one, but two. If I am going to be a good, reasonable steward with our funds, I cannot try to do what these other churches can do. I don’t have the facilities, nor do I have the people. I need to be okay with setting our own course that may not look anything like the churches down the street. In fact, if I try to compete with those churches with 20x my budget, my programs will not succeed.

2. Don’t give up, get creative. Rather than worry about what you cannot do, build your program around things that you can do. You can’t bring in a huge concert, but you can have awesome small group times or great retreat experiences. Experiment with programs and events and find what works for you. Get other creative people around you to brainstorm ideas. There is a lot that can be done for little to no cost.

3. Master the break-even event. We have become experts in creating events that pay for themselves. It’s pretty simple, don’t spend more than your event brings in. This means cheaper food and more work, but it also means more events. Remember, though, if your event is going to cost parents more money, be sure that you can communicate the value of the event.

4. Find investors. One of the greatest things we have going for us here in the student ministry is the willingness of people to invest in our program. We have church members who see how important student ministry is and have begun donating money towards our program. We have people who provide scholarships to camp, people who pay for our gas, and people who just donate money for whatever we need. Some of these investors are parents of our students, but many are people who simply buy into what we are doing. The money that they donate enables us to do so many things that would be impossible under the budget constraints.

Categories: Doing Ministry | Leave a comment

So You Want To Be A Student Minister

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Josh

I’m no expert by any means on being a student minister, but as I often encounter people who tell me they want to one day become a student minister, I thought I would offer some advice on what that journey looks like. If someone was to prepare for a career in student ministry (or any form of ministry, here’s what I would suggest:

1. Consider seminary. Seminary was invaluable to me as I began to understand the Bible and theology. I had a great time and grew as a learner and a follower of Christ. I don’t, however, think that seminary is absolutely essential to be a minister. I have many ministry friends who did not attend seminary, but I will tell you that those who did not attend seminary and are successful have a deep commitment to learning and reading. If seminary does not work for you, there are so many books, blogs, and training conferences that will exponentially increase your ability to minister.

2. Start working in ministry as soon as possible. In the church world, experience is key. Even if you have to start as a volunteer, connect to a ministry and begin working as hard as possible. Learn as you go and strive for a variety of tasks that will let you learn what you are good at and what you need to grow in. In my own opinion, finding a large church that has a healthy program is the direction you should go. Some people start out at smaller churches where ministry has been a struggle and the new guy thinks he can fix things, but often what happens is that the new guy gets burned out or discouraged before they learn what in the world they are doing. Student ministry is one of those weird occupations where people with the least amount of experience get put into the hardest jobs. Try to take the hard jobs when you know what you are doing.

3. Find a mentor and a network. We all need coached up and encouraged. Tiger Woods has a swing coach. LeBron James is quick to credit all of his coaches. You will need a mentor and other ministers who can encourage you and give you advice (and you will need advice). Find someone who has been successful in ministry for a while. Find other ministers who are just starting out and build some camaraderie with them as you go on this ministry journey together. One of the most impactful things for me has been the relationships I have with other ministers in my area.

4. Never forget that ministry is about serving God. It’s not about building a career or a platform. It is about serving God and glorifying God in all that you do. It’s an honor to serve God by discipling students, and the only way that you will succeed in this endeavor is if you maintain your relationship with God. You will minister out of the overflow of your relationship with God so make that relationship a priority.

Categories: Doing Ministry | Leave a comment

Don’t Believe in Magic

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Josh

I want to believe in magic. I want to believe that if I can do something just the right way, I will make something else happen. I want to believe that I have some magic words that will bring about the results I desire. The bad news is that I have yet to find those magic words, not in life and not in ministry.

We live in a culture where marketing tells us that if we just have this one thing, all of our wildest dreams will come true. In our sane moments we see through this faulty reasoning. Typically, however, it seeps into the way we see just about everything. If we just had this new phone our lives would never experience sorrow again. If I just buy that devotion book, my faith will never again waver. If I just buy that curriculum for my students, each student will immediately head out and evangelize an unreached people group. If I just take my kid to church three times a week, they will never go down the wrong path.

Here’s the bad news: there are no silver bullets. Not in life. Not in ministry. You are not magic, and we can’t buy any magic either. If you want to get closer to God or more focused on your faith, it will take discipline and consistency as you partner with God to draw near to Him. If you want to have a meaningful ministry, it will take hard work, and it will take being intentional about creating a culture that creates true discipleship.

If we choose to make our spiritual lives dependent upon a certain spiritual discipline such as a quiet time or Sunday School attendance, we have begun to treat that time as magic. When we think that if we can just devote those 10 minutes a day then we will grow and achieve that elusive closeness with God, we are mistaken. What we fail to understand is that a life of faith is just that–a life. A life of faith is made up of all of the little decisions we make to honor God. It is a life focused on making God a part of each piece of our day. It’s a journey, not a set of practices or studies, that changes us over time.

In the same way, if we choose to make our ministry dependent upon a certain program or event, we will inevitably be disappointed in how that one study or one talk fails to do everything that magic would be expected to do. An effective ministry exists outside of programs and events. An effective ministry is one where discipleship is happening all of the time. It’s a movement, not a program, that changes lives over time.

Stop trying to do magic and start partnering with God to bring about change.

Categories: Faith, Ministry Philosophy | Leave a comment

A Concert of Discipleship

Posted on May 8, 2012 by Josh

courtesy of sxc

As a student minister I know that there is great value in attending various student events. One of the events that I love attending is the band concert. Here in town our middle school and high school students put on a few concerts during the spring. It is great to attend these concerts and support our students who are participating.

Things get interesting right off the bat with the 6th grade band kicking things off. These kids are just learning how to use the instruments, and they are still getting the hang of it. Playing an instrument is a difficult thing to do, and these kids don’t have much practice. These kids tend to stick to the easy, short songs.

The second group is the 7th and 8th grade band. The upgrade in terms of musical proficiency is noticeable immediately. These kids are also still learning, but they have the ability to play more complex songs that really sound like songs (no offense 6th grade). They still have a way to go to become something you would regularly listen to, but the sounds are coming together.

The next group is the high school concert band. These kids are playing some stuff that you have heard before. You are amazed that 9th graders are managing to play songs that you have heard in Broadway musicals. Every now and then the students miss a note or something is not quite at the right tempo, but overall it is amazing to think that these students just a few years ago were trying to make a sound in the instrument that they are now playing fluently.

As I sat there in the concert, I could not help but see how our lives as followers of Christ is so similar to kids learning music. We start off just trying to figure everything out. As baby Christians we struggle to apply our new faith to the world that we have been living in. Just like the 6th graders, we stick to the simple things. We try to learn the basics because we are just starting out in our journey with Christ.

While we start out small, we are not called to remain there. As followers of Christ, we grow in our faith and in our understanding of what it means to be a Christ follower. Just as the kids grow as musicians, we grow as disciples. We don’t stay stuck in our spiritual beginnings. We feed on God’s word. Just like the students learning music, we practice so that we might grow in our proficiency. We grow in our relationship with God by spending more time with him. We grow through serving others and putting God’s word into practice. Sure, we will make mistakes from time to time. Our song may not be perfect, but we are learning and growing.

When we are truly living as Christ’s disciples, we are becoming more and more like Jesus every single day. We press on towards a goal. While we rest in the righteousness imparted to us through Christ, we never become satisfied with where we are in our relationship with God. Each day we strive to know him more and to glorify him more through our obedience.

Categories: Faith | Leave a comment

The Elephant in the Church

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Josh

There’s something that we don’t talk about much in the Church. It’s there, but we pretend that it is not. In fact, many of us hold it in our hands each week, but we carefully avoid addressing it. One reason that we don’t talk about it is that we don’t really understand it all that much. Another reason we don’t talk about it is that even the peek that we have had of it has made us scared of it. If we truly encountered it, it would change everything, and we like things as they are.

Because we have some idea of what it is, we water it down and make it easier. We try to reinterpret it and make it more comfortable for ourselves using the claims of contextualization and modern sensibility. We talk around it, but it remains there, waiting for someone to discover it and announce it.

What is this thing that we choose to ignore?

It is this truth: Following Christ changes everything. It is involves everything we are and everything we do. It demands everything we have.

Following Christ is not a hobby that we can put down. Following Christ is not a uniform that we can take off. Following Christ is not a diet that we can discontinue. It is not something that we do, but it is something that we have become.

Every possession we have, every relationship we have, every encounter with another human being, every minute we have in the day should be colored with the hues of our faith. Our faith should speak into how we spend even the smallest amount of money or time. Our faith should speak into how we talk with the annoying telemarketer. Our faith should speak into how we spend time at home, at work, or at the movies.

We know this to be true because we see Jesus, Peter, Paul, James, David, John, Isaiah, and a number of others telling us this in the Bible. Our relationship with God is meant to change everything about our lives. We are to live with a new purpose because, ultimately, we see the world in a different way as a result of our faith.

We don’t live this way to gain favor with God or even to keep him happy. We do it because we have already received favor from God through his grace. We do it to glorify God and make him known because we know him to be worthy of such glory. We do it because we know God to be trustworthy and he has asked us to live in the light of his truth. Living this way is not a denial of grace or a denial of the salvation that we have obtained through Christ. If giving God everything we have and every minute we live was a requirement for salvation then we would all be in trouble. It is not a requirement, but as you read the Bible, it does seem to be a goal. It is something that we strive for. It is something that we prioritize around even when it costs us. It is a lifestyle that we ask God to help us develop.

It is not an easy road. There is a reason that Jesus talked about the narrow path. There is a reason that Jesus did not seem so optimistic about the number of true believers.

In an era of the church where we want to appeal to people by making these things easier, the call to surrender everything has weakened to a call to surrender something. We celebrate people who are willing to give a whole five minutes a day to Bible reading and prayer. We ask people to just spend an hour a week serving God somewhere. We treat worship as something that lasts for about 60 minutes on Sundays. We redefine evangelism as being a good friend or as an invitation to church where the real ministry can happen. We redefine Bible study as a time where people talk about their lives rather than the Bible. We have created a culture where people only really need to be Christians for about four hours a week. Anything else would be a bonus.

Can you imagine telling Jesus that four hours is all that an American Christian can be expected to give him with all of our busy schedules?

So why don’t we talk more about all of this? Well, our churches would be smaller. Perhaps our ministers would be much less popular. Our lives would be less convenient. We would definitely be more reliant upon God to save people and bring them to a church because our message would not be all that user-friendly, unless you count the message of hope of eternal life and a relationship with the Creator of universe as something that is user-friendly.

But, what if we did live this way? What if there was a constant call to live for God? What if people had a longing to be in God’s word? What if our expectations for believers were higher? Would people struggle less with sin because they don’t have to be reminded about God each weekend? Would our churches in fact grow because people would take the responsibility to share their faith and their hope with everyone they encountered? What if we could stop teaching simple moralism or general self-help because obedience and healing are being addressed in a bigger calling to become like Christ in everything we do? What if our lives really reflected something bigger than ourselves?

What if?

Categories: Faith, Spiritual Disciplines | Leave a comment